Richard and his dad, Raymond Cabe, outside Salida, winter of 1951
Today, July 16th, 2012, would be Richard’s 62nd birthday. Molly and I decided last winter that we wanted to mark the occasion because while remembering is painful, forgetting his life and the joy he took from it would be worse.
Picking a weekend was easy: his favorite summer event in Salida, the Colorado Brewer’s Rendezvous, where microbreweries from around the state set up tasting casks under the shade trees in Riverside Park a few blocks from our house, was scheduled for Saturday, July 14th. Perfect.
The theme was easy too: it’s a long-standing Cabe-Tweit tradition to combine playing pétanque (a French game of bowling on gravel using steel balls, another of Richard’s summer delights) on our front-yard court with brunch on the morning of the Brewer’s Rendezvous. Once we had the date and the theme, we invited the combined Cabe-Tweit clan plus a few dozen friends, and left the planning and organizing until later.
The day before I left for the river trip, barely 10 days before the petanque brunch, I contemplated preparations. We had always served fritatta, muffins, and fruit salad with homemade yogurt, plus mimosas and an assortment of other beverages ranging from Trippel, Richard’s favorite beer, to coffee and natural sodas. Since it would be just me preparing food for 60 or so guests, I gave myself a break and ordered the fritattas from Ploughboy Local Market, and the muffins from the new bakery downtown. The point was to have a day he would have enjoyed, not to stress over it.
Molly, my brother Bill, great-nephew Connor, Matt, Fiona, Sienna and Porter Bryant (Sienna is Bill’s middle girl), and me in the front row. Thanks to Mark Allen for the photo.
Two days after I shook the sand out of my river shoes, the Tweit clan began arriving. First my middle niece, Sienna, her husband Matt, and their four-year-old, Fiona, and three-year-old, Porter, pulled in from Washington State via stops at Arches National Park and Black Canyon of the Gunnison, among other places. Then Molly and Mark, who flew in from San Francisco; and late that night, my brother and my eldest great-nephew, Connor, also from Washington State, but fresh from a backpacking trip in the San Juan Mountains via the Durango Silverton Narrow Gauge train.
The next day, Friday, we went into serious party preparation, beginning with weeding the petanque court, which for some reason my wildflowers love to colonize. (Clearly, they don’t understand the hazards of play!) Molly, Mark and Bill dug and pulled and raked until the court looked better than it has in years.
The freshly weeded and raked pétanque court, outlined by river rocks and native wildflowers and grasses.
Next we laid in beverages, hauled the 12-foot-long chop saw table from Richard’s studio over to the front porch to hold food, and bought recyclable plates and cups.
Saturday morning we moved the big umbrellas to each end of the court, distributed chairs on the porches and patios, filled the chop-saw table with food and the big galvanized bucket with ice and drinks, arranged mementos at one end of the food table, including a candle made from the remains of the luminarias from the celebration of Richard’s life (thanks to Ed & Paula Berg, and Arlene Shovald) plus an iPad slide show put together by Mark and Molly, and then hung out.
“Aunt Molly, you’re throwing the ball wrong!” Collin Cabe, age five, already knows his great-uncle’s game.
Soon, the porches and yard were full of people eating, drinking, chatting, and either pitching boule or cheering on the pitchers. I flitted about, greeting guests, opening champagne bottles, refilling the coffee carafe, making sure everyone had food and drink, and giving tours of the house and Richard’s studio.
It was a great party, the kind where you look around and realize that people who were strangers a few minutes ago are now talking animatedly, and kids of all ages have gotten into the spirit of play.
By the time a rain shower moved in and the party attendees sheltered under the umbrellas and porches, it was mid-afternoon and time for those who were headed for serious beer-tasting to be on their way, and for the rest of us to clean up.
Some talking, some pitching, all enjoying the kind of gathering Richard loved….
When the house was quiet again, I poured myself a mimosa (my first, if you’re counting) and raised my glass in the direction of the now-quiet pétanque court.
“Happy Birthday, my love,” I said. “You are much missed and well-loved.”
I swear I could feel him smiling.
What a wonderful way to celebrate a persons life and loves. Those who were there will have special memories to take with them and keep everyone alive for that much longer.
It was a wonderful celebration. I believe that it’s how we live that lives on after us, and this gathering certainly demonstrated Richard’s love of life and of throwing his arms wide in welcome….
Petanque is such an addictive game, I regret waiting until after Richard’s passing before finally playing it.
Such a joyous happy gathering. It was so obviously (and quite understandably) a blood-family gathering, it deepens my gratitude for having also been invited.
Molly Cabe is becoming such a beloved and admired aunt.
Petanque, family, Trippel, and a exquisitely-timed shower bringing the celebration to a close so that those who wished to could attend the Brewers’ Rendezvous…
Surely, Richard was throwing his smile even wider in delighted joy.
Pitching the boule is really fun, isn’t it Eduardo? I think it’s the team thing in impart, and the strategy in nip art, and the fact that no one gets made or too competitive, and that it takes time, so you get to slow d own while having fun and enjoying the players. Can’t beat that for a combination of factors to encourage healthy play! It was more than a blood-family gathering, because Richard never defined family so narrowly–community was his family. We’re all part of that.
Oh Susan. So deeply with you. In the sunshine and the showers. Much much love and unexpected hugs. –Louella
Louella, I’ve been thinking of you often lately! I wish you could have joined us to play pétanque and raise a glass to Richard. Next time….
I was (and am) with you in spirit. Been thinking of you tons too. And sending love and smiles and a little mischief.
Bless you! I’m headed to Alaska Saturday for my TEDx talk. Send loads of good energy Thursday, 7/28, at 7:58 p.m. AT. I’m nervous!
So fun. So Richard and so you. He is smiling big. I honor you my friend. Hugs.
It was fun, and thanks for understanding what it meant. So Richard, indeed. I do miss him immensely and always will. That’s just part of my life now. Hugs back.
What an awesome, soul-enriching way to celebrate. Looks like a fun time was had by all.
Kathy, it was fun, and it was also hard. Grief and joy are the yin and yang of my life these days…. And that’s okay. Bless you!
Beautiful in every way.
Thanks, Bev. As I’ve said above, it was a hard celebration for me in some ways (which is why I flitted around so much–movement helps when I’m feeling big emotions), but it was beautiful too. I’m glad we did it, and everyone had such a beautiful time. That’s a gift in itself.
Beautiful Susan. It looks like a great time was had by all. Your pétanque court is awesome btw. You’ve got me thinking about the game now! Being together with family and friends is such a gift.
Robin, Maybe we can set up a game during your residency. It’s great fun, though I don’t know all the rules–Molly and Richard were the passionate players. Family and friends are precious to me, especially these days.
Wow–then it’s game on! We’ll learn by doing
And that’s how life goes….
Perfect, Susan. Just perfect. Blessed be.
Thank you, Christina. And the same back to you, Blessed be!
What a spirit-enriching celebration of life and love. How I wish I could have been there.
Bobbe, It was spirit-enriching, and perhaps the waves of celebration will wash your way to give you the essence of it….
Lovely event, one filled with love.
It was, Catherine, and thank you for recognizing that. Love’s what keeps me afloat, and I suppose all of us, really. I’m just more aware of it right now….
I love your petanque court, so very you and so very Richard (although I only met him briefly, I feel I know him through you). Glad you could order some of the food so you had the energy to be with all those gathered round. You continue to inspire me. I’ll be with you (energetically) in Alaska. Safe journey and safe home…
That pétanque court IS very Richard, Jude, and he used to love to say it was the only regulation court in Chaffee County (I’d guess all of southern Colorado)! Thanks for being with me through the Alaska trip. I just hope I knock the ball out of the court as it were in my TEDx talk! I just found out the direct link for the live-stream of my talk on the 26th (7:58 pm AT): http://www.livestream.com/tedxyouthhomer?t=504901
Pass it along!
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